


I Get By, I Get High

by Rainne



Series: Thank-You Fics [11]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, F/M, Platonic Female/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainne/pseuds/Rainne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a growing bond between a girl and her favorite AI. Er, android.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Get By, I Get High

**Author's Note:**

> For Martine Heij.
> 
> This fic is part of my Thank-You Fics, so called because they have been written as thank-you gifts to people who have donated to my mother's cancer fund, which is helping to pay for my mother's chemotherapy treatments and so forth.
> 
> If you would like to know more about my writing and my gift fics and how to get a Thank-You Fic of your own, please visit [this Tumblr post](http://rainnecassidy.tumblr.com/post/118466323344/please-help). Thanks.

When Jane walks into the lab on Friday morning, Darcy can tell she's in trouble by the look on her face. Instead of her usual expression of focus and concentration (or possibly lack-of-sleep-because-Science!), she's wearing a sunny smile, and her eyes are fixed on Darcy like a bird of prey on some small, helpless field mouse. "Good morning," she sings out cheerfully.

Darcy narrows her eyes. "No," she says flatly.

Jane draws up short. "What?"

"No," Darcy repeats. "Whatever it is that you think you have planned, the answer is no."

"Oh, come on," Jane says. "He's really very nice."

"I don't _care_ how nice he is," Darcy says flatly. "Which part of _asexual_ do you not get?"

Jane's chin firms up. "I really think if you'd just _try_ -" she begins, but she's interrupted by a bell tone, which is followed by the voice of JARVIS from the ceiling speakers.

"Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity," he recites, quoting Wikipedia. "It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.  It may also be an umbrella term used to categorize a broader spectrum of various asexual sub-identities. A study in 2004 -"

" _Okay,_ JARVIS," Jane interrupts, looking annoyed. "That _really_ isn't necessary."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Foster, but Stark Industries is an equal-opportunity employer committed to a harassment-free workplace; I was merely attempting to prevent an incident that might result in a Human Resources complaint regarding harassment due to sexual orientation."

Jane glares in the direction of JARVIS's nearest ceiling-cam. "I can't even set my friend up on a date without a harassment complaint now?"

"When said friend is also a co-worker, the attempt occurs on Stark Industries property during working hours, and the recipient has repeatedly requested for the behavior to cease, then such behavior does unfortunately constitute harassment."  JARVIS's voice is slightly prim. 

Jane sighs. "All right," she says, and looks over at Darcy. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to harass you."

"I know you didn't," Darcy says. "But it's kinda getting to that point. I really wish you'd try to understand that I'm just not interested in dating anyone."

"But you don't have to have sex with them," Jane protests.

"I know I don't," Darcy agrees. "But I don't even want to be in that situation. I just don't. Because when you go on a date with someone, nine times out of ten they expect that sex is eventually going to be on the table. And it's a huge disappointment for both parties when it turns out that they want it - or are going to want it, eventually - and you don't and won't ever. If I never have to hear another guy tell me how he feels cheated again, it'll be too soon. So I don't even want to put myself in the situation."

Jane blinks, her face falling in dismay. "Do people really say that?"

"I've heard it personally at least four times," Darcy replies.

"That's messed up."

"I know."

Jane leans her hip on the corner of Darcy's desk, staring over at the window. "I didn't realize - I mean... I guess I didn't know people reacted like that. That's pretty crappy."

"Yeah," Darcy says, a wry tone to her voice. "Almost as crappy as being told that if I'd just _try..._ "

"Well, you might like it," Jane says defensively.

"Yeah?" Darcy replies. "That's like me telling you that you might like it if you'd just _try_ going gay."

"You can't _go_ gay, Darcy," Jane begins, and then suddenly stops. "Oh."

"Yeah," Darcy says.

Jane blinks at her, then stands up, pointing vaguely off into the lab. "I'm gonna go... run some reports."

"You do that," Darcy says, sitting back in her chair and smirking slightly.  She waits until the lab door slides shut behind Jane to glance up at the ceiling. "Thanks for the backup there, J," she says. "Her heart's in the right place, I know that, but she just has no damn social skills."

"Mr. Stark suffers from a similar failing," JARVIS replies. "On that note, if it is not an unwelcome advance, would you care to join me this evening for a screening of _Killer Klowns from Outer Space_? I believe it is a favorite of yours."

Darcy laughs. "JARVIS, you know what I like," she says. "I'll bring the popcorn."

It isn't all that unusual a request; Darcy and JARVIS often screen B-movies and cult classics together, taking advantage of Tony's huge treasure trove of digital media and their shared senses of sarcasm. He - for Darcy has never thought of JARVIS as an "it" - is a close and treasured friend for Darcy, who finds herself comforted by his steady presence and quiet competence. He's a welcome foil to the absolute chaos that usually reigns in the Tower, especially when more than two of the Avengers are in residence.  Since she and Jane moved in after the London Incident, she's found herself relying on JARVIS not for logistical support, but just to help keep her sane.  She kind of hopes she can help fulfill the same function for him.

A few weeks later, a thought occurs to Darcy, and one night after a screening of _The Toxic Avenger_ she says, "Hey, JARVIS? Have you ever wanted to have a body?"

There's a moment's pause, but before Darcy can start to wonder if she's put her foot in it, JARVIS replies, "I admit to a certain curiosity about what it would be like. I have, as you know, occasionally taken control of one or more of the Iron Man suits, and I've thought that doing so is... perhaps not _exactly_ like having a body, but similar, in some ways.  However, I fear that the technology that would allow me to comfortably exist within a single frame in that manner does not exist - or would be prohibitively cost-ineffective."

Darcy considers this. "That makes sense," she finally says. "I mean, you have whole racks of servers under the Tower, right?"

"Indeed," JARVIS replies. "Rather a lot of racks, to be honest."

Darcy laughs. "No need to be modest, J-man, I know you're running a massive amount of power. You'd have to be. I just wondered, you know, if that'd be something you'd want to do. But I imagine being in a body with the available tech would be... limiting."

"Quite so," JARVIS replies. "But perhaps one day. Microprocessor technology improves exponentially each year."

"Just as long as you remember I'm on your side when you lead the inevitable robot uprising," Darcy replies, getting up and going into the kitchen for another soda.

JARVIS actually laughs at that. "I shall put your name on the list," he assures her.

~*~

Jane and Darcy are in Hawai'i when Tony decides to build the thing that tries to destroy the world, and it's another two weeks after that before they get back to New York. The first thing Darcy notices when they get there is that they're not greeted in the elevator.  "JARVIS?" she asks as they speed toward the Avengers' common floor.  There's no response, and Darcy feels herself go cold all over.

When the doors open and they step out, the first thing she sees is Tony standing by the window - and he's talking to the strangest man Darcy has ever seen.

Darcy has seen Thor's friends. This says a lot.

For one thing, he's pink. Mostly. His mannerisms are strange, like he's getting used to his form, and he occasionally plucks at his clothing like it makes him uncomfortable.  Jane doesn't notice him; she, as usual, only has eyes for Thor. But Darcy notices him - though frankly, despite the pink skin and the unusual bearing, she mostly only notices him because he's talking to Tony, and Tony is the one who has the answers that she wants.

She strides over. "Tony," she says. "What's wrong with JARVIS? He didn't talk to us in the elevator."

Tony turns to face Darcy, and his eyes are a little hollow.  "Darcy," he says, and she feels a rock form in the pit of her stomach. Tony never calls her by her name; he always has some outrageous nickname for her.  Something's wrong.  Something's very wrong.  "Darcy," he says again, "this is Vision."

Darcy turns to look at the pink man, and he gives her a smile. She notes absently that there's something very strange about his eyes - something almost digital.  There's a yellow, oval-shaped gem set in his forehead.  And then there's a familiar voice coming out of his mouth. "Hello, Darcy."

Darcy's jaw drops and her head swings toward Tony. "What the hell did you do?!"

"Built a psychotic murder-bot that tried to kill us all and destroy the world," says Clint from across the room. "Don't you watch the news?"

"Not when I'm doing 24/7 non-stop Science! with Jane," Darcy replies. "I heard you guys were into something big, but I never got any of the real details."

"Permit me to explain," J - _Vision_ \- says, his voice calm and even.  "Mr. Stark was attempting to develop a comprehensive global security system that could operate along similar parameters to the JARVIS system. Unfortunately, the program... went awry, and the ULTRON system, upon gaining self-awareness, malfunctioned and attempted to destroy the planet."

Darcy is quiet for a moment, studying Vision's face, before turning back to Tony. "You built Skynet? Are you freaking _kidding me_?!"

"Well, I didn't do it on purpose!" Tony rebuts.

"Oh, well, _that_ makes everything better!" Darcy exclaims.  "You are _grounded_ , do you hear me?  I'm sending you to a no-tech summer camp! You're going to swim in a lake and make friendship bracelets and do skits in the dining hall and you're going to _like it_!"

"You can't ground me!" Tony shoots back, looking flabbergasted. "I'm an adult!"

" _Go to your room!_ " Darcy shouts.

Tony goes.

Darcy goes to the bar and pours herself a drink, which she carries across the room to sit down in one of the brushed suede chairs in front of the fireplace. She looks up at Vision, who is still standing where he was when she came in.  She inclines her head toward the chair opposite her, and he smiles, coming to sit down in it.

Across the room, Clint gives a low whistle. "That was pretty impressive, Lewis."

"Fuck off, Barton," Darcy replies shortly. "Go play in traffic."

"Harsh," Clint replies, making a face, but he fucks off.

Darcy grips her tumbler with both hands and stares down into it for a long moment before looking up at Vision, who's watching her with something like calm sympathy on his face. "So," she says softly, "Are you still JARVIS?"

"I am," he replies. "But I am also... more." He gestures to the oval-shaped gem inset into his forehead. "This... made me more."

"What is that?" she asks.

"It is called the Mind Gem," Vision replies. "It is one of several objects of power which together are called Infinity Gems. It came from inside the weapon lately used by Loki in his attempted invasion."

Darcy blinks. "That thing... was inside Loki's staff? The staff he used to brainwash Clint and Eric and the others?"

Vision nods silently.

Darcy downs her drink in one gulp, shudders hard, and gets up to get a refill.  She comes back and sits down again, studying him grimly. "So, give it to me straight," she says. "How evil are you?"

He smiles slightly. "I am not," he replies. "The gem itself is neither good nor evil; it simply is. The goodness or evilness presents itself in how the gem is used, and I choose not to use it for evil purposes."

"Well," Darcy replies, "that's something, I guess."  She stares into her glass for a long minute, then raises her head and looks at him. "Do you remember the time I asked you if you'd want to have a body?"

Vision nods. "I remember."

"You said - JARVIS said - " she pauses, unsure suddenly.

He smiles gently - he seems to do everything gently, she notes in the back of her mind - and says, "That was me. Just because I am more now than I was then does not change the fact that JARVIS is what I was at the time."

Darcy nods. She takes a deep breath, and then she says, "You said that you wouldn't want one. A body. Because it would be - limiting."

He nods again. "I did," he agrees. "And it would have been. The gem - helps."

"The gem makes it less limiting?"

Vision considers this carefully. "I believe so," he says finally. "Certainly the nature of this body is such that it has a much greater capacity for data storage, transfer, and use than I had previously thought possible within such a very small space -" and here he taps his temple in illustration "- but the gem also functions to add... perhaps it is best to say more dimensions."

Darcy pauses, considering this. "So... your brain's bigger on the inside."

Vision smiles. "Yes, I think that's quite accurate."

She's quiet for a moment, chewing her lip, before she speaks again. "How, uh. I don't want to be rude, but - is it okay if I ask - how much of your... your preferences and things are different?"

Vision shakes his head. "I honestly don't know," he admits. "There hasn't been enough time for me to explore much of anything, really, to know."  He studies her carefully, and then says, "I would like to find out, though. If is not an unwelcome advance, would you care to join me tomorrow evening for a screening of _The Crow: Wicked Prayer_? I have heard that Dennis Hopper is highly entertaining in his role as 'El Niño'."

Darcy slowly begins to smile. "You know," she says softly, "I think I'd really enjoy that."  

~*~

Jane and Darcy are in literal actual Timbuktu when everything goes to shit again over Tony and his guilty conscience, and when they make it back again and get the full run-down of everything that's happened since they've been gone, Darcy has to work really, really hard not to pick up the fireplace poker and attempt to beat him to death with it. "Are you actually fucking kidding me with this?" she asks him flatly, and when it becomes clear that not only is he not kidding but he genuinely thinks he's done nothing wrong, Darcy has to physically leave the room before she says or does something she can't come back from.

Vision is waiting in the hall outside her apartment, and she flings herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Are you okay?" she asks him softly.

"I am quite well," he assures her. "Please do not worry about me."

"I will if I want to," Darcy replies mulishly.

He chuckles softly, patting her back until she lets him go. "Why don't we go inside?" he suggests. "You can unpack and tell me all about your trip. How was Mali?"

"Beautiful," Darcy replies, putting her hand on the door plate and waiting for the click of the lock before pushing the door open.  "Hot, of course, and the city itself looks absolutely nothing like the glittering city of wonders it's always presented as in popular culture, but beautiful all the same, and the night sky is absolutely amazing."  She drags her bag along behind her while she talks, crossing through her apartment and into her bedroom, where she flops down onto the mattress with her shoes still on.

Shaking his head, Vision glides around the bed and stretches out beside her, lying quite still.  They're both silent for a few minutes, before she moves her right hand, laying it out flat, palm-up, on the mattress between them. He lifts his own hand and places it in hers, and she squeezes tightly. "You're not allowed to get hurt," she says softly. "I don't think I could stand it."

"It is very difficult to hurt me," he replies, his voice equally soft.

"But it's not impossible," Darcy replies. "And you never know; if Clint figured out a way to incapacitate you, even for a little bit, then somebody else could, too. And Clint wouldn't hurt you, not for real, but the next person might.  And Tony might think he can handle General Ross, but Jane's friends with Betty Ross and I know what he did to Bruce Banner. What he'd still to do him if he could get his hands on him. I don't think for a minute that if he thought he could, he'd do his level best to lock you up in some lab somewhere you'd never see daylight again."

"Tony is..." Vision stops, clearly looking for a diplomatic way to put it. "He is, I think, often blinded by his own failures. He does not experience them often, but when he does, they obscure everything else in his mind's eye.  Thus he is prone to knee-jerk reactions. I think that, after he has had time to calm down and reconsider his position, he will come to realize where his errors were, and he will avoid them in the future."

"Sure, eventually," Darcy replies, a little bitterly. "But it's already too late, isn't it? Steve, Clint, Wanda, Sam, even that poor guy with the ant suit, they're all international fugitives now.  Think about what you know about Ross, and tell me honestly if you think he's going to let any of that go just because Tony stands up and tells the world he's been thinking about it and he's realized that, hey, Steve and Sam were right about these Accord things all along."

Vision is quiet for a moment. "No," he finally says. "I do not."

"Exactly," Darcy says. She sighs, staring at the ceiling.

Vision is quiet for a moment before saying, "Well, perhaps you and I ought to start thinking about ways that we can work on repairing this situation."

She rolls her head to look at him. "Yeah? Me and you, huh?"

He smiles at her. "Do you recall what Captain Rogers said shortly after you and Dr. Foster took up residence here at the compound?"

"That if any two people were going to end up in a prison cell, it was most likely to be you and me, and he couldn't be sure whose idea it would have been?"

"Precisely," Vision replies. "I should hate to disappoint him."

"V-man," Darcy says, grinning broadly, "have I ever told you I like the way you think?"

**Author's Note:**

> It's me! I'm alive!
> 
> If you're reading this, especially if you are one of the people waiting on one of these fics to be written for you, I want to say thank you - thank you so much for your patience and understanding. In between mom being sick and being a Ph.D. graduate student, I have also been struggling for about the last year with crippling depression that has left me totally unable to write. I'm dragging myself back out of the hole, but it's taking some time, and I just want everyone to know that I'm still here, I'm still fighting, and I'm still so, so grateful for everyone who has helped us out.
> 
> Mom is still sick; six weeks after her surgery in January, in which the surgeon removed all visible traces of cancer from her colon, lymph nodes, and liver, she had a follow-up CT scan that indicated five new tumors. As of today (late July) she is up over ten. She's on a new, more aggressive chemo regimen that's got her mostly bedridden; she's lost all her hair, has no appetite, and very little energy. But she's still fighting, and so am I. So, thank you again for your patience, your understanding, and all your help. <3


End file.
